RonVitale

Review: Oz the Great and Powerful

I went to see Oz the Great and Powerful today and timing worked out well. I rushed in, grabbed a seat right during the Iron Man 3 trailer was finishing and the movie just started. Perfect timing. However, I did have a bit of sticker shock: I paid $14 for a ticket to see the film in 3D. I could write a whole post on why the price of the movie ticket wanted me to stop going to the movies. I thought $10 would be expensive enough and I misread the listing online, thinking I was attending a non-3D screening. No such luck.

Was the 3D experience worth the price of the ticket? No. I keep saying this time and time again. When will 3D go away? I think after today's experience I will make certain that I do not attend another 3D screening. Hopefully, soon 3D will die out. What about the movie? Was it great and powerful?

I enjoyed the movie, but I wouldn't call it great. I thought the movie more solid than Alice in Wonderland but I'm finding a recurring theme in these big budget movies. There is more eye candy on the screen than character development. Don't get me wrong: I didn't hate this film, I really didn't, but I found it merely good. I have no desire to see it again. Yes, it brought in more than $80 million on its opening weekend, but it cost reportedly $325 to make. Let me say that again: $325 million. That's a lot of money for one film.

I can sum this film up in a few sentences: The plot is see-through and if you pay attention during the opening credits you'll basically catch the "big reveal" that negates any mystery about the plot. The effects are pretty, but nothing caught me as being spell-binding and mind-blowing. It simply was a good film that had weak characters. By watching the trailer, you pretty much know all that you need to know about this film. My favorite character was the little china girl. I thought her storyline somewhat interesting, but she was simply a minor character with not much to do.

I've seen a lot worse big budget films so I would say go ahead and see this one. It's entertaining. But I would rather ask this: Have we reached a point in which the big budget films are so bloated that gone is much of the human emotion in the story? What about the acting and character interactions that make us feel something for them? This is why I really enjoyed The Fellowship of the Ring. I cared about those characters and enjoyed seeing them grow over the three films.

James Franco is okay, but there isn't much to this story. For $325 million, you think that maybe someone could write a script that is engaging and really moving. But maybe that's just me: I think I'm asking too much for a blockbuster film. They are simply meant to entertain us and make a lot of money. One of the reasons that I enjoyed Inception is that there's an interesting story at its center. But maybe it's time that we start to challenge ourselves and take a step back and use our imagination. Movies like Moon, Another Earth and Sound of My Voice have captured my attention because they're more character driven. I'm asked to use my imagination without witches flying through the air and balls of fire incinerating things.

I like movies about people and fantastical places and emotional pull that teaches me something about the human condition. Oz the Great and Powerful simply is a pretty plain story: Can a man overcome his greed and ego to become a truly great man by helping others? Yeah, it's that simple. I know that the purpose of the movie isn't supposed to be about the characters, but I wouldn't mind seeing more films that challenge me to think. Oz the Great and Powerful serves everything up on a plate for me and I simply needed to sit back and take it all in. It's a sub-par roller coaster ride that did not want me to go back for more.

And for $325 million, you would think that Disney would want me to come back again and again. See it on the big screen, but I wouldn't waste my money on the 3D. You'll be out a few more bucks and really won't gain anything. Disney pulls off a mediocre film, but I wonder when they'll be coming up with a movie to inspire and wow us. Great and powerful this movie isn't. Hopefully, that might come in the future. We shall see.

My Word Is My Bond

There's a lot of talk about branding being important for writers. But what does this exactly mean? With the publishing world all in a tizzy these days, indie authors struggling to be noticed, and free books flooding the market, what's a new author to do? The answer is easier than you think: Write well. But the execution around that and promotion of your writing is extremely difficult.

Brand = Who Are You?

I've been struggling with this question for many years now. If you were to look me up online, you would see that I'm not only a young adult novelist who also likes Magic: The Gathering and ran a podcast for more than five years, but I'm also the father of two who is a long distance runner and works at a major east coast University as their Director of Electronic Communications. That's a mouthful. Over the years, I've struggled along the way, trying to learn how much to share of my private life and how much to share with the public.

When I look at my life, I think back to what my counselor told me when I was in my early 20s:

"What you do will change over time, but who you are will remain constant."

And, for me, branding is simply that: Who I am. For a long time, I've been hiding behind a virtual shell of myself, hoping that my books would simply speak for me and that their themes would find an audience, but I now know that in order to find more readers there is more to it than that.

The struggle is that it's hard enough to make time to write well when you work full time and are raising a family, but then there's my fear of reaching out and connecting with people online. If I could boil down to a succinct paragraph who I am, I would say:

I fight for the underdog and believe in working hard for what's good in the world. I advocate for women, being forever blessed that women (my mother and grandmother) taught me to be the man I am. I listen and want to connect with people on an intimate level about what it means to be alive and to find one's true self. I allowed my father's abandoning me when I was young to hold me back for a long, long time from being someone who is not afraid to shine. I write about the struggles of young women, learning to find their way (yet make mistakes), but pick themselves up and find that being complete is not in someone else, but in loving themselves. I am true, passionate, honest and forthright--sometimes to a fault. I am me.

My one line summation is:

I write for those who have felt lost, abandoned and unloved to share with my readers that there is always hope.

That is my brand.

I believe it's essential to find out who we are and to be true to that online and off. I'm not playing a part. I'm living and sharing that with the world and my readers. This balance is not easy, but I believe in my art. I do not get up so early in the morning to write so that my books can live in obscurity, or worse, in a drawer where no one would ever see. I have chosen to break out of my cocoon and fly. Yes, that will mean that I will fail sometimes and my work will be called horrible names by some, but that's okay.

Finding Your Niche

Once you find your brand, you need to interact with people--everywhere. In all the circles I travel, I have a chance to meet new people and to help them, listen and make new connections. In my recent past, I often hid and was more of an introvert, but slowly (very, very slowly) I have come out of my shell. What I've learned is that, I have the ability to talk and connect with an audience. The challenge is finding the right group to connect with and share with them.

I've stumbled across a small readership for my books, but I need to keep working on finding more people to talk with and connect. Social media is the key. Twitter is simply one of the most amazing tools I have stumbled across. If you're not on Twitter and really using it, then why not?

To find that niche, simply search for hashtags that similarly minded people are using and join the conversation. Again, it's that easy, but hard to execute because of the time commitment. Some writers believe that you can just write books and they'll magically be found by the all-mighty mystical algorithm oiling Amazon's engine and you'll hit the jackpot. I've heard from enough writers like me who aren't having that success. Other writers believe that there needs to be a balance between writing and engaging people on social media. I fall into that camp. Without engaging people online, I would not have met some of my biggest fans or learned how to successfully convert my novels into eBook formats (thank you Guido Henkel).

Coming out of my shell and meeting people and really being me has not been easy, but it's opened many doors for me.

Learn How to Ask

I listen to podcasts, read blogs, books and anything I can get my hand on, but it's the magical serendipity of discovery that I stumble upon on social media that I love so much. Recently, I saw a post by Ksenia Anske on Facebook that moved me: She had posted a TED talk link to Amanda Palmer talking about "The Art of Asking."

I watched the short talk and could really identify with it. I'm a writer and cringe each time I have to sell myself to the world. I always thought that I would write a book and it would just sell. But that doesn't happen. It's a lot of hard work to get your name out there and be discovered. And how do you ask for people to support you?

Tweet: "Looking for a good book? Try my latest release 'a, b, c'."

Does that work? No, it doesn't.

Palmer's TED talk gets to the heart of my problem: I'm ashamed to ask for money for my book. I'm afraid that if you read my Cinderella's Secret Diaries series that you might not like it and want your money back. I've been afraid to stand out and say: "I am a writer." Instead I've been hiding behind my day job and I "write on the side."

I think that many of us feel this shame about asking for money for our works and that it's related to our fears that people just won't like our books. We send ineffective tweets, press releases and blog posts out into the ether and then wash our hands and say: "Phew, I did the marketing thing and now I'm done." But we're not really selling ourselves the way we should. The connection part is missing. And that's what Palmer hits a homerun on. It's about making a connection with our audience (no matter how small) and being true to who we are. That will not sell books because we're begging, but we're finding people who truly like our work.

Finding Success

Writing + Being Ourselves + Connecting with Like-Minded People = Success.

Amanda Palmer's TED talk might be an extreme example of opening up and putting ourselves out there, but it's a symbol of sorts: Granted, I doubt any of us would have the courage to strip down and be naked in front of our fans and ask them to graffiti on us, but isn't that what we're doing when we write? I know that's what I do. I bare the darkest and innermost parts of my soul to the reader and they get to see how screwed up and scary I sometimes see the world, but then rise up and struggle to be better.

As a writer, I would ask you:

• Why do you write?
• What are the themes that you write about?
• Who are the people like you?

If you can answer these three questions truthfully, write and then work your ass off, then you'll find success. Will that be enough to pay the bills? It all depends. Making lots of money writing fiction isn't so easy. If you expect to get rich, maybe writing isn't for you, but some will make enough money to pay a mortgage. Your mileage will vary, but one thing is true: You'll know your brand and will have done your best to create amazing works of art. You'll never know until you try.

The Book That Changed My Life

My 6th grade English teacher assigned our class a book report assignment and I remember fondly the book that I chose. I don’t remember my teacher’s name, but I remember the book. Our teacher said that we could pick any book we wanted to read and I thought I’d be smart and pick Tolkien’s The Hobbit because I had already read it. I zipped through the book and then learned from a friend that Tolkien had also written The Lord of the Rings trilogy. That was more than 32 years ago and I fell in love with Tolkien’s books, but, more importantly, I fell head over heels in love with reading.

With my mom having gone through a rough divorce from my father a few years earlier and our moving into my grandparents’ house, I needed some place to find stability and solace. Reading became my balm to soothe me and help me see the world from a different perspective. I read about hobbits and goblins and great power that corrupted, but through it all, if you were true of heart, you could defeat evil and live to see a happy day--pretty powerful stuff to read for a young boy awkward in my own body. Lanky and tall, I didn’t fit in with the jock crowd or the popular crowd so I fell into the loner crowd, doing my own thing until I slowly began to make friends in my new neighborhood.

Looking back at that time, I had no idea of the power that reading had over me and how wonderful it was to find a stable and trustworthy skill that could help me cope with my problems. For a while, I could escape the world and all of its unfairness and dream of being somewhere else far away. But what amazed me the most, is that you could be rewarded for using your imagination. If you worked hard enough, you could write books and make a living off of it. And so I started writing short stories and adventures for my friends and I to play in our Dungeons & Dragons games.

Years have passed and I think I’ve read the Lord of the Rings trilogy around 9 times. I’ve lost count over time, having last read the series when the Peter Jackson films came out. Now I have children and hope that one day that my kids will want to read those books, but I don’t think that they will. My son isn’t into magic and swords like I was, but that’s okay because he is finding his own books to read.

What I find amazing is that 25% of Americans didn’t read a book in 2012. That’s a bit mind boggling to me. What do these people do instead? For me, I love reading and wish that I could make more time to do it. I often get to read at night before bed but I read a few pages and then conk out. Being a writer, I have to juggle writing, reading, and work along with family life and exercise. My days are often jam packed and I look back fondly when I could just pick up a book and read for hours. That doesn’t happen now because of my schedule, but I try to work in as many books as I can.

The explosion of ebooks has helped since it’s a lot easier now for me to carry so many different books with me no matter where I am. If I have my phone, I have all my books. No longer do I have to lug around a thick Harry Potter book, but part of me does miss the badge of honor I’d feel when I’d be reading that book on the train headed to work and I’d see so many others doing the same thing.

On what devices you can read has revolutionized the publishing industry, but it’s only strengthened my love of books. So I now ask you: If you had to pick one book that changed your life and you remember so fondly, what would it be? I’m curious. Leave a comment and share with me.

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Ron Vitale is the author of the fantasy novel Cinderella's Secret Diary who hopes that his kids will grow up to fall in love with reading as much as he has.

Finding True Love

This week marks the 18th year that I met my wife and in honor of that I wanted to reflect back and set the record straight answering the question: Does true love exist? But before I can do that, I think it's more important to define: What is love?

Love Is a Many Splendid Thing

The definition of love that I like the best is one I was taught back in my senior year of high school from a priest at my Catholic school. Father Hanley taught us that "love is seeing good in someone and wanting to see that good grow." I've always liked that definition because love is active and other centered. It's not about swooning, smothering or possessiveness, but about growth and giving of yourself to another to support them in achieving their potential.

True love, for me, is simply that: Supporting the person you love and being there for them on their journey through life as they continue to grow and become a better person. Love is not simply about sex and gifts (I think we all know that), but it's a balance of discovery, support and learning to grow with another over time. There are ups and downs and downs and ups, but there are also times of great intensity that flare up like the sun. Yet if I look at the 18 years that I've been with my wife, I would say that we have worked hard to find a path of calm (though she would probably disagree with me on this) in which we have strived to build a solid foundation for our lives and for our kids.

The "C" Word

We opted for a life that hit the Golden Mean. We didn't want to be manic depressive with great highs and lows all the time in our relationship, but find stability and calm. What exactly do I mean by that? Coming together as a couple means that it's necessary to compromise and make sacrifices. If you're not willing to compromise and sometimes put your kids and your partner in front of your own needs, then I'd advise you not to be in a relationship. We can't always get what we want. And that's a good thing because having a push and pull in a relationship in which there are boundaries creates tension and friction. This is where the true magic of a relationship lives.

What if you don't wish to go to your in-laws this Christmas? What if your spouse doesn't like to clean, but you do and you need help around the house? What happens when you both are tired and the baby wakes up for the fifth time at 4:00 a.m.? What happens? I always find romantic movies so funny. The same is true with many TV shows. My wife and I will watch the serious event lay out and within a few minutes all conflict is resolved (along with, on cue, some really great music playing in the background as the couple reaffirms their love for each other).

Life isn't like that. Well, at least my life isn't like that. When I write my books, I have been criticized because I have made some of my characters be unlikeable at times or I've had them make bad choices. Just like in life. Have I not done some stupid things in my life that caused harm to my relationships? Yes, I have. Has my wife? Yes, she has. So what happens when conflict arises and needs to be resolved? Does the cool music start playing in the background and we're suddenly running toward each other and all is okay? No, that's fantasy land. That doesn't even happen in my books (thankfully).

Learn to Forgive

I have made choices that have rocked my marriage and caused great angst to the relationship as has my wife. These are personal moments that are between her and me. She knows what I mean. And I know as well. It's the secret language of a couple who have been together for a long time. What has helped us get through those rough times? Forgiveness. And forgiveness doesn't come easy. You can't just wake up and say, "Well, looks like today I will simply wash away all the hurt and pain and just decide to forgive my loved one. That was easy! Let's go play tennis now."

Life isn't like that. And neither are the characters in my books. I've had Cinderella do some really bone headed things that the reader scratches her head wondering why she would do that. My answer: Because she's human. She screws up just like the rest of us. When I have needed to forgive, I will be the first to admit that it is not easy for me to do. Sometimes the hurt is too deep and it takes time to work through the feelings and come to a quiet moment to forgive. I've found that quiet reflection and some time helps to put the situation in perspective.

Yet having grown up in a family that went through two divorces, I can attest that I never saw a true and loving marriage. I did not have good role models to learn from and felt socially inept for much of my early dating years.

I look back and cringe at what a mess I was and how I looked for love for all the wrong reasons (to complete me and "fix" me). Those relationships didn't last and I hope and pray that the damage I did in those relationships has been forgiven by the women I dated back then. But there is one thing that I learned that's essential to all of this and might just be the secret to true love. It's a theme in my Cinderella's Secret Diaries series and one that I believe is just about the most important thing anyone can learn about relationships.

Love Yourself

In order to be in a relationship that will work, I learned that I needed to be able to forgive myself and also needed to love myself. This might be one of the most simple and yet most complicated skills to learn and be ready for in a relationship. If I wasn't able to forgive myself and pick myself up and try again, how would I be able to forgive another? If I couldn't look at myself in the mirror and love the person I see there, how could I love another? It's almost too simple, but it's been a key to helping me on my life journey.

When I look at the road that my wife and I have journeyed on, I see some amazing times and some purely magical ones. The birth of our children, seeing a total solar eclipse on the day I proposed to her in France, watching a meteor shower with our children and friends, holding each other in the dark of night after a rough time when our dearest family members had died--these and more than 18 years of memories are all entwined in our collective memory. The road has been impossible to predict but not prepare for.

Be in the Present

Each day could be my last. I have no way of knowing when I will be no more on this Earth and I don't know how long my relationship with my wife will last. But I don't dwell on that. Instead I focus on living the best life I can and being true to myself. Will I screw up and make mistakes? Yes, I will. Will my wife make mistakes? Yes, she will.

In amazement, I look back to a conversation I had on the phone with my friend who I've known the longest and remember telling her after I met my wife: "I don't know if she likes me romantically, but if she doesn't, I'd be happy to get to know her as a friend." It's been 18 years later and who would have known that we would be together all this time. The place we met, Borders, no longer exists. With all the change and challenges in life, I try my best to remember the present and focus on the here and now. Will we be together tomorrow and next year and so on? It's not worth me worrying about. Instead, it's best that I focus on today.

So do I believe in "true love"? I've fallen in love with many women in my life and I wouldn't say that there is just one person out there for me. I know that's not true. I often say to my wife that if I pass on I hope she finds another person to be happy with. God know that she wouldn't miss the grief I sometimes give her! I believe there's no special or secret recipe to making this all work out. Making a relationship last can be hard work. It's also taking time to look your wife in the eye and listening to her and being present and holding her or asking to be held. It's a myriad mix of complex human emotions that spans decades. That's probably not the answer that people want to hear. It's a lot easier to say that boy meets girl and they lived happily ever after.

But for me, boy meets girl and that's when the story just begins. It's not all happily ever after. Life is too complex for that and, for me, that's the beauty of it all.

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I dedicate this post to my beautiful wife who has patience with me during all the times when I deserve none. Je t'aime.